Darling Do I, or Do I Not?

Love is reckless, it’s vulnerable, it’s painful and yet the most beautiful thing that life has to offer. It’s pure, it changes us and changes the way we see everything, even each other.

But often, we think love is an option, a choice. We choose what food we love, we choose to love our friends through miscellaneous acts of kindness and compassion, but that is not the case. We don’t get the privilege to choose love.

Fate is the act of putting two people on each other’s path and deciding their destiny from the moment they meet regardless of the odds against it, to every single interaction thereafter. It’s a plan. And it’s a beautiful plan and we don’t have control over our destiny or milestones in our plan. We may choose details and slight directions but love is too powerful to not have its way. Regardless of the hiccups or detours we create, we will always end up exactly where we were meant to be. Because of love. A love we have no decision in, but influences some of the best moments and decisions of our life.

So darling do I?

Being 21, you think love is everything. This might not even be a romantic love, but the love of another that makes you feel whole, appreciated and a part of something bigger than yourself. Matter. It makes you feel like you matter.

In your twenties, because of this ache, you search until you find it. Some find this love in a career aspiration, some in a partner, some in adventures, in church, or in family and friends. But you find the love and you never want to let it go.

This gets complicated when the love that makes you feel whole could be temporary. You can fall out of love, lose a job, move away from friends or even feel distant from the church. You feel like everything you knew changes and crumbles and you have to grasp the meaning of your life in the after affect and find that love within yourself, to show yourself that you matter, because you love yourself.

Read that last sentence again. Meditate on it, scream it out loud, write it on your wall and never let it go. That sentence, that belief, that no matter how essential love is to our paths and destiny and how we do not have the power to change it, but it shows us a feeling that motivates us to live our life to the fullest and then when destiny leads its way, we find it within our self, that is one of the most important keys to life.

So with that being said, what if everything changes? What if you have a choice that could change everything and how you know it? When you have to ask yourself, Darling, do I? or do I not?

This could be a career change, but what about the authentic and raw intimate kind of love. When you meet someone and for a split second you catch yourself asking, could this be it, could this be the one? But as we know, life is never that simple, that’s why when someone says the word heartbreak, we get that pit feeling deep in our stomach because unfortunately, all of us can relate.

And THAT moment, that fear of heartbreak, of disappointment, is where we need to stop ourselves because we do not have the privilege to control love.

We cannot prevent heartbreak, we cannot even make somebody fall in love, no matter how much we pray and hope and try. No matter how many times we asked the magic 8 ball in elementary if today was the day the cute boy from class would say hi.

But here’s the plot twist, remember how many times we wanted something to work out so badly or the times our heart hurt so bad we never thought we could love again? But eventually, again, we find ourselves in the beginning of the cycle, hoping, loving and trying again.

Moral of the story, after all the different outlooks on understanding love as an essential quality of life, the most important concept is that we do not have the power to control the path of love. So when we ask ourselves darling do I or do I not? Look into your heart at your true desires and choose that decision fully. If you choose to love, love with everything single energy, power and strength in you. And if you choose to not love, make your decision and honor it. But if a choice does not go the way you plan, be kind to yourself because love will work out the way it’s supposed to in the end no matter how hard we try to influence it, because again, we have the power to change the world, but we don’t have the power to change love.

The question is not do you or do you not- because regardless of how careful you choose a decision, love ultimately decides. So the question is when you do choose to or choose not to, will you give it your all, and know that love and fate may be different than your personal and ideal plan for yourself but in the large picture of things, authentic and raw love will never let you down.

So choose love, choose it fully, chase it, jump into it, run with it and never look back. Because life is too short to not live it in love. But most importantly, the fate of life surprises us so often and is outside of our control, so in everything you do, choose to love yourself first.


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